Unsteady

Bikothoughts #65
Why do we watch the moon and stars when the sun rises to scorch the earth?
What is the purpose of showering to get dirty; rewriting what you erased and erasing what you rewrote; wiping the blood away from an oozing wound?
Why go to sleep when dawn is inevitable?
What leaves cure a soul that bleeds?
Why do we even bother dreaming when we eventually just wake up, opening our eyes and seeing someone else live our dreams, and seeing them wonder how deprived they could be?

It is funny how fortunes change. No, not funny. It is actually very depressing that a man can go to bed with everything he ever dreamed of but wake up poor. In a moment even the most stable of structures could collapse and one decision, either of oneself or of another, could rearrange a person’s life or destabilize it to horrendous extents.
For almost all his life Kyle thought he didn’t have it in him to maintain a friendship. It sounds absurd but it is true. His high standards and concrete principles combined with his almost borderline personality made it quite difficult for him to accommodate another human being in his life. Admittedly, he did regret losing touch with some of the people that he did. Kyle always kept a small circle and sometimes he felt lonely, since only a handful of people truly knew or understood him. In fact, his closest friend was himself and on occasion he would be so engrossed in his thoughts he practically switched off from the world. In this autopilot status he did things thoughtlessly and often very shoddily. Deep within his soul he had a metric system for appraising his friends’ performances. Low performers got booted and high performers were entertained while those who performed exceptionally well were rewarded with puppy-like loyalty.
All was bliss until Bonita. No words could describe her satisfactorily. She got on his nerves on so many levels, regularly defied his metric system, but still stole his undying love and soldierly dedication. It had taken a while to fix himself up for her, or anyone else in fact, after the public park incident so many years ago. His mind sometimes went back to that place and he would smile, patting himself on the back for a recovery well done. Bonita. He hated her so much it became love. His feelings for her were an unsteadily reacting ball of chemicals that were his hormones, with exponential potential. He loved her and his heart bled raw passion for her.
Just two months after their engagement Bonita treated Kyle to lunch at his favorite escape, The Belvedere. It was an uptown restaurant with staff that on occasion bent the rules for him. He was their friend and most loyal client and this saw to it that he always got exactly what he wanted. He loved the place. The ambience was superb and he liked the lighting in his special corner. It was sufficiently dark with a view of the entire room. The food was of unquestionable quality too. He was a chef so he knew. Kyle felt home in The Belvedere. On this particular day he was with his lady. She had adorned herself with his favorite everything and his eyes made quick to-and-fro trips between her angelic face, her ample bosoms and her pedigree thighs. She noticed and smiled slyly at him. He smiled back. Tonight would be mind-blowing.
After the main course she moved to sit close to him, right next to him, and rested her right oh so succulent thigh on his left leg and engaged him in their usual friendly conversation. They were beyond lovers. They were friends and soul mates. He toyed with the idea of taking her right on that couch but immediately brushed it off. He was a freak, just not of that kind. His right hand rested on her lap eventually and his concentration drifted slowly but gradually away from their conversation to her body.
However, something felt wrong. They had both had a tremendously busy fortnight and barely got together, despite the fact that they had practically moved in together. She was having her finals and this was what would determine if she would make it into the legal world, “to fight crime and speak for the voiceless”, as she often put it. Her house was a mess with books and papers everywhere. She barely cooked, barely cleaned. All she did was study and revise. Kyle had just bought the store next door to his restaurant and was now remodeling to fit into the newly acquired space. Business had peaked and he had to do something to prevent the crumpled feeling that often came with this, since it is an almost sure way of suffocating a restaurant. Diners had to continue enjoying space and serenity albeit their growing numbers. It was hectic but it would soon pay off, for both of them. ‘Citadel’ had already laid a strong foundation for Kyle’s life and it would work wonders for their future together so imagine what it would do when it’s size doubled.
Despite the entire bustle, they had found time on this warm Friday afternoon for each other. Kyle was happy for the reunion, especially since it was her treat. It made him feel wanted. To him, this was them getting back to each other after being pulled apart by the universe, but something was amiss. He was all for reconnection but she seemed like the entire thing was building up to one moment for her. He took his hand off her lap and loosened his tie with it, to distract her from this move, before resting it on the couch. He had to concentrate on his thoughts and that would be damn well near impossible with his hand resting on his Aphrodite. He switched conversing with her to his subconscious and began thinking deductively. He had noted a few things, beginning with her wearing everything he liked best, including the shoes that made her toes sore. She liked pleasing him, true, but she also loved her own comfort. She had a million other shoes that were much more comfortable but she chose this particular pair. She rarely wore them. The possibilities were endless but at least he was sure she was not about to end it with him. He could tell she just wasn’t. That was the only thing that he dreaded. Anything else he could handle, just not losing the woman he had devoted himself as much as he had for her. She was flattering him a lot too. She wanted a favor, a big one. Bonita was never afraid of asking for anything and she always made compelling arguments to him, all of which he thoroughly enjoyed. She would kill them in court, this one. He also liked to spoil his angel, so he just mock-resisted. She knew he never had a problem with doing anything for her, including financial boosts. So this had to be a big one. Kyle was stumped.
His train of thought was interrupted by the waiter who had now come to take their drink orders. He would be driving, so he simply asked for an Old-fashioned, without the whiskey of course. “Hot water will do for me.” What? Bonita loved wine after a fine meal. This was strange. She liked wine a lot and her would be husband often teased her by calling her a boozehound. “How come?” he asked? She simply shrugged, arousing his curiosity further. Then it hit him. He smiled. Their happily ever after had become more real than it ever would.
With this realization in mind, he switched back to conversing and flirting with her. His hand also went back to its former position, slid up her waist to her back, at which point it brought her close and his lips laid a passionate, slow and deliberate kiss on hers. She responded by kissing him back, just the way he liked it. The waiter came bearing their drinks but went back unnoticeably. Then they paused, foreheads touching, eyes still closed. Her breath was hot and fresh, a befitting metaphor for the current mood, “I love you, Bonita.” He felt her whole body tense up before she let out a heavy breath full of both fear and pleasure. “Here it comes,” Kyle told himself, smiling on the inside. Things really were looking up in his head, but the poor bloke was in for a rude surprise.

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